Pets, math and too much laugh
by anokasdoll
Summary: What could any of these things have to do with Bella and Emmett? “Are you sure you’re not afraid of me?” He asked again.


**Pets, math and too much laugh**

**by anokasdoll**

**Summary: **What could any of these things have to do with Bella and Emmett? "Are you sure you're not afraid of me?" He asked again.

**A/N: **Hi there! Just so you know this was written at one am so… yeah. This is my first attempt into a new writing style and also into humor. I've always been one for the sad drama. LOL Anyway, any feedback would be awesome. I hope you all like it. 3 Anokasdoll (Set in the end Eclipse)

(Much for my dismay) I own nothing and SM owns it all. Neither one of us owns Dale… I don't know who owns him.

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"Emmett?" I said.

Nothing. I looked around only to find the Cullen's living room empty. Had Emmett and Rosalie gone out? No, they would have told me. I hadn't yelled but I was completely sure that he could hear me.

I was alone with Emmett and Rosalie because the rest of the Cullen's were out hunting and Carlisle was at the hospital. I sat in the living room's couch trying to finish my homework that was due tomorrow. I had to finish it now because I was sure that once Edward got back I wouldn't be able to do a thing. Not to mention Alice.

"Emmett?" I asked again a bit louder.

I counted to eleven in my head until a flash flew next to me. Suddenly he was seated on the floor facing me. This was no surprise; I had gotten used to their speed long ago, and so had they with my slowness.

"At your service!" He said grinning while he saluted me.

I looked him up and down. His shirt was all wrinkled so as his pants; his hair was all messy; and he was not wearing socks. What had he been doing?

…

Oh…

Ugh! Thank God I don't have the extra sensitive hearing!

I don't think I need any confirmation. Better not ask.

I know it's stupid and childish but my first though was why was I the only one not allowed to do that.

And this is one of those times when I thank to God and any other higher creature for Edward's inability to hear my thoughts. I know he's not here now but the point stands.

I shook my head trying to remember the reason that brought me to call him. He looked at me like I was a demented person… He does that a lot to me.

"Can you please help me with this math problem? I've been looking at him for the last fifteen minutes and I can't get it right. It's killing me!"

He burst out laughing. What was so funny? Did I miss something?

"What?" I asked.

He caught his breath and reached for the book. Ok… Let's classify this as his normal behavior. He started reading the problem.

"So… Dale was…" Suddenly he burst out laughing again. Honestly now, was this the 'annoy the hell out of Bella' day? I was already in a bad mood because of Edward's absence, and the last thing I needed was Emmett laughing at me.

"Emmett! Are you kidding me?"

He stuffed his face into his face for a few seconds before addressing to me a bit calmer. "Did you know I had a hamster called Dale?"

I stared at him dumbly. I had never thought about it really. But I suppose it's a normal thing – to have pets. But somehow it was something I couldn't imagine. I mean… If they didn't even remember that I had to eat frequently how would they keep an animal alive? Can't blame them though. That's why I quit the whole pet idea. Too many _accidental _deaths for my mother liking.

"What kind of a name is Dale for a hamster?" Of all the questions I wanted to ask, this seemed the most… the one he wouldn't laugh of.

"It was Rose's idea to name him after Dale Earnhardt, a famous NASCAR racer back in the nineties."

I giggled. "Figures…" I murmured.

All of a sudden his expression became dead serious. Was he bothered by my comment about Rosalie? I didn't mean to be malicious towards her. I was just trying to say how unusual her interest with cars was.

"Er…I didn't mean it like that. Sorry…" But he wasn't listening. He seemed lost in his own thoughts.

"I wonder if he would be mad for telling…" He said so low that I wasn't completely sure of his words.

"Telling what!?" I asked. Was he talking about Edward? I wouldn't be surprised. Although I had been living side by side with his world for the last three years, he was still afraid of my reactions. I don't know why exactly but that thought made me sad. It's like I hadn't gave him enough proofs that I loved him…

Again, suddenly, Emmett snapped back to reality. "Er… Nothing. I was just day dreaming…"

"Yeah right! I heard what you said." It was a lie but it's not like he knew that… "You better tell me Emmett, or else!"

He grinned at my 'what else'. I would have laughed at my stupidity too if that wouldn't have made me look stupid…er.

"It's nothing." I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. I could even admit that vampires have a natural gift for lying but if he thought that I was buying it he was way wrong. "Really Bella! I wasn't even talking about the subject."

"What happened to Dale?" The question just pooped in my head out of the blue.

And judging by his expression I was dead right!

"That's it, isn't it? You don't want me to know what happened to him! Emmett Cullen tell me right now!"

He made a face at me but I kept my scary look – as scary as I can be.

We kept glaring for a few seconds and I gave up. "I won't tell if you don't think about it." I whispered fighting a smile.

He stuck his tong out at me and I made a face in mock horror.

"Ok… Dale… Hum…" He was staling.

"Just spill it out." I whispered impatiently.

"Ok! Edward ate it!"

Ok… I surely didn't see that one coming. But what did he mean… he ate it. Well… They eat animals – in fact all they eat are animals as a part of their 'vegetarian' regime. But still, put into this context, this sounds extremely weird.

"It was an accident I suppose… We were living in New York at the time and it was really sunny and he was very thirsty… It's not like any of us hangs around eating people's pets!"

I looked at him not so sure what to say. I felt my face getting red and redder with embarrassment. Boy! the day I won't blush will be the happiest day of my life.

"Er… yeah, beautiful story but let's get back to the exercise shall we?"

He nodded and resumed his reading. "Dale was pointing his flashlight at door…"

Oh not again! You had a door too?

"Why would someone point a flashlight at a door?" He asked.

"Do I look like a fortune-teller? He just did it so that other someone could write this problem and make other someone – me in this case – loose their patience trying to solve it."

He grinned. "Or maybe he was looking for porn in his dad's closet!"

I laughed and decided to play along. Emmett was really the funniest person I had ever met. "Oh dirty little Dale!" Yet again, I made a face in mock horror and exclaimed: "Wait a minute! What if he was looking for a vampire!? Or maybe he had a vampire in the living room and went to the closet to get his stash of holy water!?"

I expected him to laugh but he didn't. "So Dale is afraid of vampires, hum?"

I nodded.

"Who's afraid of vampires?" Rosalie asked from the top floor.

In the brief second between glancing at the stairs and turning back to Emmett I emerged in a whole different place. I was against the entrance's wall and Emmett was staring at me.

"Are you sure you're not afraid of me?" He asked - holding his laugh – on a failed attempt to sound menacing.

"Yup!" I dared to answer.

"Are you sure you're not afraid of me?" He asked again.

"What the hell is going on here!?"

Edward had just walked through the door. He was about to launch himself to Emmett but he flew like a bullet through the back window. This time was my turn to burst out laughing. I feel on my knees struggling for air. The look on Emmett's face when Edward walked in was priceless. He was the scared one not me. Edward didn't even bother to ask me anything most likely because he knew I wasn't able to talk. So he just stood there waiting for me to finish.

I took a couple minutes before gaining back control and breathing normally.

"So… Do you mind explaining me why was Emmett thinking about your fear of him and your secret stash of holy water?" He asked looking at me like I was insane. Not that I'm denying anything… my boyfriend _is_ a vampire.

Then I looked up. He was back. I jumped and launched myself at him knowing that he would catch me because with my luck I had a pretty good chance of breaking my nose on the ground.

As usual he grabbed me. I hugged him with all my strength but still he was able to release myself from him awfully easily. "I missed you…" I whispered into his ear.

"I missed you too, Bella." He smiled my favorite smile before crashing his lips into mine. Damn, eight hours is _too_ much without him. Way too much without feeling his cool body against mine, without being held by his marble welcoming arms, without looking into his warm eyes, without tasting his sublime lips. What I had done to deserve such an angel – although he often said that I was mistaking our roles in this analogy - was beyond me.

He broke the kiss and put his hands on both sides of my face staring deeply into my eyes. I loved when he did that. It was my unspoken assumption that he did that trying to read my thoughts – but the lack of response never stopped him from trying once again the next day.

And, once more, without my notice, we were in his bedroom. "I thought you had got rid of the holy water when you met me…" he said mockingly.

I leaned in for another kiss, I wanted more. He willingly gave it to me. Then he set me on the bed – could he tell that I wasn't breathing? Next he walked towards the stereo and hit the play button. A soft melody started playing. I couldn't stop looking at him – he was so perfect, the kind of flawless I would soon be.

"Do you have garlic too?" He whispered into my lips. He was trying to be funny, though I could feel the curiosity in his words.

"No. I just won't be asking Emmett for help in my math anytime soon."

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